December 23, 2021
I always thought I had to look or walk a certain way to begin dressing cute and doing my makeup again. After my last two spine surgeries I felt lost inside and I didn’t want to let myself feel any sense of happiness until I was healed. I guess I felt as though I wasn’t good enough to dress nice. My body was going through many changes and I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I wanted to be walking solely on my own before I returned to my full glam and fashion life but that time never actually came. Although it took some time to find myself, I slowly but surely started to find my way back to fashion. I began buying clothes again, trying them on at home, and going out in public. These activities put a smile on my face and I was able to acknowledge the fact that I didn’t need to look a certain way to do the things I loved. Fashion doesn’t belong to a specific group of people but at the time I felt so bad about myself that I didn’t want to even try. I had to keep telling myself to let go of all of my insecurities and pre-assumptions because I was in a new position. Because I have scoliosis I have learned to dress and put together outfits to adjust to my curve. Fashion has aided me to love and accept my body because I am able to dress it in whatever I want. After I slowly started to get out of my shell after those surgeries I found that going to the mall to shop for clothes was a type of therapy for myself. I was able to choose what I wore and being in control was something I wasn’t used to. Fashion is a way for me to express who I am while giving myself a sense of belonging. I’m not saying to go to the store and buy a bunch of clothes but to find your passion and pursue it with all your heart no matter your insecurities.