January 10, 2022
Trying to feel confident about my body in a world where you’re told you need to look “perfect” or act a certain way to fit in can feel super stressful and impossible at times. I don’t even think that I’m totally confident with myself and here’s why. My body aches everyday, I have numbness in my lower legs, I take medication three times a day, and I receive help in my daily life. I have insecurities and I have things I do need to work on. Every morning when I wake up I have to make a conscious decision to have a good day.
My lifestyle continually changes, I’ve altered the way I live life because I’m not your average girl with regular day to day issues. I have had to shut the world out because for a long time I was worrying if the world would accept me but in reality the only acceptance I needed was from myself. Accepting having to potentially live life unable to fully walk was and is a hard pill for me to swallow. It’s difficult knowing that I may never go back to the way my life used to be or be able to walk in public without getting stared or pointed at. These are the possibilities I may have to live with for the rest of my life.
It terrifies me sometimes when I start to wonder how I will take care of myself in the long run. All I know is that accepting the possibilities of my future has given me room to move forward. I may not know what the future will bring or how society will view me but at the end of the day it’s the way you respond to situations that you can’t control. I have gone through serious life changing events and if I don’t take the steps to leave my mark then all of this would have been for nothing.